Confessions of an ADHD Quiltaholic

17 reasons that I suspect I may possibly be a bit ADHD

A few weeks ago I was told to look up the attributes of adult ADHD - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. As I read, I couldn't help but see myself in the articles and the realization that I was not alone. This helped me to  better understand why I do some of the things that I do and why I do not do some of the things that I do not do. And because I have chosen quilting to be the the thing that I am most obsessive about, I see the attention deficit and the hyperactivity played out in  my quilt room. Okay, it is evident in other areas of  my life, but this blog post is about quilting.

Here are 17 reasons to suggest that this quilter just might be a bit ADHD. Why 17? No particular reason, except that I think it is a great prime number. There are lots more symptoms on the list but this is not a psychological research paper, although the more I study counseling the  more I am convinced that quilting should be on the official counseling theories list.

1. Creative.
Quilters are extremely creative. Just think about the beautiful works of art and bed covers quilters have created with needle and thread on fabric over the last 200-300 years. Those who are right brain functioning, the ones who do not follow the rules, who colour outside the lines using the rainbow for a colour pallet, they are the ones who create new designs and patterns. Those of us who are more left brain, follow the rules the quilt police have established. I like sampler quilts with neat rows and columns, balance and symmetry and I am colour challenged when it comes to choosing colours for a new project.

2. Impulsive.
Quilters love to start new projects. We sign up for classes to make the newest patterns and learn the newest techniques and buy the newest gadgets and the newest collections of fabric. I start new projects with great energy and excitement to the exclusion of all else. I love to have several projects on the go. As a left brained colour challenged quilter, I have difficulty deciding which colours to pull together, so I love fat quarter bundles. I buy lots, especially when they are on sale. I have a project in mind for every collection I have purchased. Not sure how much I need for a background? Buy the whole bolt. Most shops give a discount if you finish the bolt.

3. Disorganized.
All that fabric I buy has to be put somewhere. I once had a quilt teacher who cataloged every piece of fabric she bought in several notes book listing how much yardage she had, where she bought it and how much she paid for it. Mostly I just quickly stash the bags in the closet, under the table, or in the laundry awaiting preshrinking. Not  everyone has a room designated specifically for quilting like me, except that I have two rooms and a hall closet. I used to set up my machine on the kitchen table in days gone by, but we did have to eat everyday, somewhere. 

4.  Forgetful.
Because I am somewhat disorganized, I misplace many gadgets or cannot remember where they are, so I buy more. I do not remember what is in my stash so I buy more. When I have had to de-clutter and organize my work space, I put projects into neat boxes, labeled, with all the fabric and patterns needed to complete the quilt. I have come to realize that if I cannot see it . . . it does not exist . . . therefore . . . it is easy to forget how many (37 . . . no wait . . . I started 2 new ones last month) un-finished quilts I have and start a new one with great energy and excitement. Therefore, in order to not forget, I have a notebook that lists every quilt I have ever started, when I started it, when I completed it and who I gave it to. Just so I do not forget, I often pull it out and review or re-write the list and then get overwhelmed at how many unfinished quilts I have, so I write a list of  which quilts I am going to finish in the coming year, one per month seems like a reasonable goal.

5. Easily distracted.
I often have an inability to focus and stay attentive.

6. Obsessive.
I tend to focus on one thing and forget about everything else. I see cute cartoony pictures on facebook that make fun of our quilting obsessions and yet, it really is not funny when I add them all the up and realize how many describe me and my behaviours. I scored 20 on the ADHD-I list.

7.  Extreme mental activity.
There are so many nights I lay awake drafting a pattern, systematically organizing how I will approach teaching how to make the blocks or how I would re-orgaanize my bookshelves and quilting room and then replay the same scenario over and over. I would sit for hours at a time looking at the Dear Jane quilt on my design wall and how I would approach some of the blocks on my next bright coloured one. Sometimes I think I spend more time thinking about the process than it would actually take to do it.

8.  Substance abuse.
Pretty much anything with sugar in it . . . and chocolate . . . or buying more books . . . or fabric . . . or gadgets . . .

9. Inability to complete projects.
It's not that I do not complete quilts, but rather that I take on some of the more challenging projects like Dear Jane. I impulsively invited several friends to join me in the journey of making this quilt four years ago and it is purely coincidental that I impulsively started a masters in theological studies at the same time, went to India four times that year and attended my son's wedding, on time, all the while milking cows every day and then started my first Baltimore quilt. I did graduate last year and impulsively started a doctor of Christian counseling program, but only after retiring from milking. Sometimes I forget all that I have on the go and dream of starting a new quilt.

10.  Procrastination.
I have come to realize that in my fear of failure, of not doing it good enough, of possibly being criticized for less than perfection, I avoid the pain of thinking about the pain that is involved with trying to do too much at the last minute and wait until the last minute and then do the thing poorly in a hurry and then criticize myself for doing such a poor job of something that I know I am good at. So . . . I procrastinate . . . I started this post  2 months ago and kept putting off completing it. Also, I cannot function in the clutter . . . but am too disorganized to know how to bring order to that clutter. . .  so I will go and read blogs or play games and avoid doing anything useful or, plan to start a new quilt.

11.  Anxiety issues.
This kind of mentality is a great environment for anxiety issues and has led me to depression. I could avoid a lot of stress if I learned how to pace myself and actually followed the detailed, colour coded to do lists I write for myself.

12. Verbal hyperactivity.
I have been told that I do not have ADHD because I do not physically bounce off the walls in hyper activity.
I can go off on verbal tangents as I engage in hyperactive dialogue, or rather monologue. I have come to realize that I love an audience of one. But then, sometimes I am the only one talking . . . about my favourite topic . . . me . . . and what I am doing.

13.  Low self esteem.

14.  Financial stress.
My husband seldom ever looks at the Visa statement, but one day recently he asked what did this mean? paypalpaypalpaypalpaypal? for  . . . what is this? $900? I pay off the credit card every month, pay no interest and travel the world with the airmiles our farm business collects. I am not stressed financially, but I sure could be the way I spend money on fabric and books, forgetting what I bought the day before. And, I love sales and freebies. My downloads file is filled with hundreds of free patterns.

15. Sleep disorders.
Extreme mental activity, anxiety issues, substance abuse . . . it isn't any wonder that I have been diagnosed with sleep apnea.

16. Poor time management.
Quilters with ADHD tend to be goal oriented and tend to create such unrealistic goals and lists that we cannot follow them through, so we start a new quilt . . . because . . . it is exciting.

17. Creative.
Quilters are extremely creative. Just think about the beautiful works of art and bed covers quilters have created with needle and thread on fabric over the last 200-300 years. Those who are right brain functioning, the ones who do not follow the rules, who colour outside the lines using the rainbow for a colour pallet, they are the ones who create new designs and patterns. Those of us who are more left brain, follow the rules the quilt police have established. We like sampler quilts with neat rows and columns, balance and symmetry and are colour challenged when it comes to choosing colours for a new project. Some quilters start and complete one project at a time. Not me. I love the energy and the adrenalin rush of starting yet another new quilt project.

Bless your heart,
Chris

CCCQ #10

This was a fun block to stitch up. I prepped it with freezer paper ironed to the wrong side of red fabric from the Dear Jane 2 collection. I tried something a bit different and did not like it so will not do it again. For years I have done applique by gluing under the seam allowances and more recently started needle turning over the freezer paper with out gluing first. However, turning those wretched, tiny inside curves has been challenging me on this project. I have done a gzillion melons on my Civil War Dear Jane quilt, but they are mostly outside curves and points. I found it difficult to continue turning under where I came to the part that was glued and could not turn under a smooth curve. This might sound like babbling but I understand it.

I have been thinking about what I might write into the centers of each of the 31 blocks that will eventually make up this quilt. This block of the month is the Chester County Criswell Quilt that was originally made as a wedding quilt in 1852 from http://www.twobitspatches.com/ . Each of the family members that stitched up original designs signed their names in the centers. I might write some of my family members names. Just a thought. One advantage of doing straight up needle turn is I do not have to go back and remove the papers from inside.
Blessings,
Chris 

Canadian Blogathon

Today is the first day of the Canadian Blogathon and the first time I am participating. I am a new blogger and still trying to figure things out. I plan to visit as many blogs as I can this week. I have thought about doing a giveaway, except not sure how that works other than writing out everyone's name and pulling one out of a hat.
I have been working on my first Dear Jane quilt for 4 years now. The center 169 blocks are all completed and I think the rows are all joined together.




This whole bunch of fabrics is patiently waiting in a box ready to make DJ2 as soon as the first is completed. I am hoping to find a few other quilters who want to take the journey with me.

Blessings,
Chris

CCCQ # 9 again

It is Monday and I am working on some CCCQ blocks as I babysit my youngest granddaughter -oh joy oh bliss.
I stitched up the first edition of this block while visiting family in Poland last month and gave it to my 88 year old aunt who helped me stitch it. I took several prepped blocks with me while visiting my daughter in New Brunswick last week.
I like to keep my hands busy and applique is much more satisfying then chewing off all my nails.
Blessings,
Chris

My Mommy

It is Remembrance Day here in Canada. Every year on November 11 we remember those who died in war and those who survived fighting for the freedom that we enjoy as a way of life. I have not always honoured this special day, however, since visiting  my mother's place of birth last month, l have a new appreciation and awe of the heroic woman I called Mom. 

My Mother was 13 years old in Sept 1939 when the Germans began occupying Poland. She dropped out of school and spent the next 5 years living in the midst of all the atrocities committed against the Polish people, especially the 350,000 Jews  most of whom were put to death for no other reason than they were Jewish. As I was driven through what used to be the Jewish Getto in wartime Warsaw  last month, I could not help but recall the scenes from the movie "Shindler's List" that was made in black and white to use actual film footage of the time.

When my sister and I met relatives in Poland for the very first time last month, we were taken to the Museum of the Warsaw Rising 1944 where we made a very emotional journey through each of the 63 days that the citizens of Warsaw rose up and defied the German armies. I spent 3 hours looking for her face in the many photos and film clips. Most of the insurgents as they were called died and the city of Warsaw was destroyed and burned.  http://vimeo.com/16582392 

My 18 year old mother was among the 1000 who survived and among the thousands of Poles who spent the rest of the war in prison camps. An actual footage movie will be coming out next year to commemorate the 70th anniversary.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2397873/Warsaw-Uprising-colour-Black-white-photos-turned-incredible-feature-movie.html

She met my soldier father when  he was taking food to her refugee camp. You see, he was a butcher and had served as a cook in the army. He made the most phenomenal Polish sausage and bigos. They were married soon after and were given the opportunity to to move to any commonwealth county of their choice. They chose Canada.

My 20 year old mother was 7 months pregnant, with a toddler in tow, when she arrived at  Pier 21 in  Halifax where all those who immigrated to Canada first made port. My parents bought a small farm near Brantford Ontario. Five more babies arrived in the years to come. My mother never returned to her place of birth. She died at age 73.

I have chosen to honour my mother's memory each year at this remembrance time. She is more a hero to me now than ever before. I wish she was alive today so I could hug her and tell her how much I love her.

Blessings,
Chris

CCCQ #15

Its Wednesday and this is the block I am working on today.
This is block #15 of the Chester County Criswell Quilt originally made by family members as a wedding quilt in 1852. Part of the charm is that it was made 100 years before I was born and my father's name was Chester.
I am enjoying doing the hand applique. For this block I cut the oak leaf shape out of freezer paper,  ironed it onto a piece of civil war red fabric and traced around it with a fixion pen. This pen marking is supposed to disappear when heated. We shall see.

I am cutting away the extra fabric around the seam allowance until it is time to change direction.
I use a #10 milliner's or straw needle to turn under the seam allowance, press it with my thumb and take 2-3 tiny stitches then repeat. I am getting the outy curves turned under nicely, however, the small inside curves are challenging my skills at this point. As Brenda Palidakis of dearjane.com states: "What we do most we do best".

Blessings,
Chris

CCCQ #7

I had prepped this block a month ago and stitched it up yesterday during Q@F and later while avoiding doing any real work.
I am packing my bags to go visit my daughter for a couple of weeks. I have 3 blocks, net book, journal, oh yes, and 2 textbooks to do some schoolwork. For some reason I get more homework done there. Might have something to do with being away from my quilt room.

It is my granddaughter's 6th birthday this week so what better gift than a tea cup from Poland.

The 5 fat quarters here are the colours for the Trend-Tex Challenge  for Quilt Canada 2014. The theme this year is Modern Ways. I love the idea  of the challenge, but original creativity is not my cup of tea.

Blessings,
Chris