Doom Scrolling

I have been doom scrolling. Yes that is a thing my granddaughters tell me. I stopped playing games a year and a half ago because that caused too much pain in my hands. But doom scrolling. It is so easy to get sucked in. And what has been showing up? ADHD. 

I have to chuckle. I was in my 60s when it was brought to my attention that I was a bit ADHD. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. But it is not a disorder. It is more like a delusional delicious desire to dive deep into  neurodivergent distractions that delay deadlines. . .  In other words, rabbit trails. Sigh. 

There were so many different reels with similar symptoms. We hate to brush our teeth. We hate to shower. Too many decisions like do I need to? Which shampoo? There are 6 options.  Trying to wrangle 17 thoughts at the same time about what to eat when I peak into the refrigerator or on my desk with its many projects spread out. What colour do I use to make this block? Interrupting all the time so we don't forget what we want to say. We actually have to start doing the thing before the motivation starts. Then we cannot let it go. 

The one that has me is getting disrupted when I finally get into that rare zone of deep focus by someone walking in and engaging me in conversation or requesting me to do something not on my radar. They have no idea how long it takes to get back in the zone after having to start from scratch. 

And the ubiquious to-do list. These make perfect sense to normal people. But we are not normal. We love making to-do lists and doing anything else but what is on them. We  have notes-to-self all over the house as reminders for something but not remember to actually do them. That is why I write morning pages. 

And we have loving humans telling us we need to behave like normal people when what is normal for us is not normal for them. And don't we go and marry someone totally not like us and trying to change us.  

Okay. Rant is over. Maybe.

It's nearing the end of June and what have I accomplished? I have not progressed my book writing much. Nope. But, I have been sewing. I went to that 3 day quilt retreat 4 weeks ago and took along bits for 5 projects. I worked on OMIGOSH bits until I realized that I had not taken a regular presser foot. I had the one with the seam guide but after a while I realized that the guide was pushing the tiny bit of fabric over just enough to distort the corners of the tiny 4-patch blocks that finish at a mere half inch. Then I realized that I had the same problem with the foundation paper piecing. I had thought about taking the Featherweight for that, but did not. So, I switched to another project. And that is why we take several different kinds of sewing to quilt retreats. 

I have been trying to work on the OMIGOSH units daily. There are a lot of steps! But progress is happening. I have been trying to get caught up on the green and orange blocks. I got the windows in the sunroom washed and that was an all day venture. In order for that to happen, had to move a lot of plants outside and take out a table and move things around. But the job is done. I got a cortizone shot in, of all places, my right shoulder for the hand pain? Still trying to figure that one out. I have been taking glucosamine-condroitin-MSM suppliments for the past few weeks at my chiropractor's recommendation. I think something is beginning to work. How do I know? I can bend over and pull weeds again. Okay. Lots and lots of rain has been helpful.

I finally pulled out the Wreath of Roses and worked on positioning the flower petals and leaves. I am a bit frustrated with the whole process. In order to reduce bulk, I am thinking about stitching the inner petals together then cutting out some of the back before joining that to the larger big flower. Oh, why did I decide to do this by machine when I could have done the whole thing by hand years ago before my hands stopped being able to push a needle sideways? But I am determined to follow through and get this quilt made. It has taken me only 29 years to get this far. I am calling it done for my OMG goal for June. I will do more next month. The Forgotten Quilt Book Challenge goes until Oct 1 so I still have 3 months. 

Come to think of it, I have been working on my book project. I spend countless hours going through boxes of old photos. Remember those before digital cameras? I am looking for 26 pictures that sum up our 50 years together for our book How We Stayed Married for 50 Years and even enjoyed a few.  Reading about some common characteristics in women with ADHD has given me lots of insights about why it is so hard to do the things that I obsess about all the time. I actually was up in the middle of the night writing a couple of times. So, I guess I have made progress. 

Blessings,

Chris

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