Dust Off a Quilt Book Blog Hop 2021

 Welcome to my stop on the Dust Off  Quilt Book Blog Hop. The first quilt book I ever bought was the Standard Book of Quilt Making and Collecting by Marguerite Ickis. It was first published in 1948 and my copy in 1959. As a voracious reader, I had to be reading something.  I devoured the book. As a young bride moving into this 1842 farmhouse nearly 50 years ago, I discovered a few tattered old quilts. They are long gone, but the memories remain. A Radiant Star, Triple Irish Chain, Double Nine Patch as well as an assortment of child quilts.  

In the book are patterns for many old favorite blocks. I had never heard of any of them. But I was young and willing to learn. I liked that there were themes of blocks. I especially liked the Rose of Sharon blocks. But they were all different sizes. I had no idea how to make them all the same size. There were Bible-themed blocks. I thought that would be a great place to begin so I started dreaming of making my first sampler quilt.

The patterns were wonderfully descriptive.

The instructions were clear with detailed instructions. 

 

I could hardly wait to get started. 

However, in 1974 when I bought this book, I was just beginning the nightmare journey with a profoundly handicapped child - the seizures, the fevers, another pregnancy, sleepless nights, depression -  You can read the whole story in my book 

Denine: One mother's journey with a profoundly handicapped child. 

 

Years later I found this pattern by Rosemary Makhan called Biblical Blocks. I loved it so much, I started a couple more. I will complete them someday. 

And this pattern also by Rosemary, who bought her copy of the book at the same time. 

Rose Sampler Supreme. 

The swag border and sashing were simplified.

I want to thank Bea at beaquilter for inviting me to be part of this blog hop. I already have a book picked out for next year.  

Blessings,

Chris

linking with: wendysquiltsandmore.

ninamariesayre. rebeccagracequilting

link-party-patchwork-quilts

June OMG Finish

 

This was my omg-one-monthly-goal for June for my Serendipity Quilt. 

Well it is done but I might redo it or replace it. I was so sure it was going to finish at 15 inches.

 And it does but only the corners. I started it 5 years ago and got stalled.

Now I remember why it did not get done back then.

Definitely not one of my favourite blocks.
 I still have one of these in 4 1/2 inch size to make for my Bright Jane quilt.
Colour wise it is a dark tone on tone green with a crisp white background.

Maybe it is a good thing I did this now because

 there is one in the Morrell with several more layers of diamonds.

 

I have decided I need to take a bogging / quilting break for the rest of the summer. I know. It will be hard to not spend time here every day reading what others are doing and sharing what I am doing. I love reading your comments and try to respond to everyone.  I even took time last week to write up no less than 7 blog posts, mostly for 17 ufos for 2017. But now instead of sharing what I have done and what I hope to do, I will come back at the end of summer and share what I actually did do. Not sure how much of any quilting I will do but rest assured, I will be doing something. I wonder what the RSC colour will be for July. I hope it is black or brown or neutrals because none of those are in my Bright Jane plan so I will not miss much there.

And why do I need to take a break? I am going to Rwanda in Africa in August for a short term mission trip. We will be modeling how to do a vacation Bible school program and I have lots to do to prepare. I just downloaded the 25 page training manual. Yikes! And we have been doing training meetings every other week for 2 months now.  Some times I drove the 3 hours to Lindsay and other times I skyped in. We have a fundraising concert there Sat night and I am speaking. Well, I am speaking for 2 minutes. So is every one else on the team. This Sunday we have some serious training with the missionaries who just sent out the manual that we have to read before then.

Also we are doing taxes tomorrow. A week late to file, but the accountant could not make it sooner and I did pay them back in April so we are good. And my old high school that closed some 30 years ago is having a reunion this weekend  and I am having dinner with some of my classmates tomorrow night. Should be great. I haven't seen some of them in decades. I graduated in 1970. Yup. That's a long time ago. When I get home, my daughter and her family will be here for a week then the little girls will be here the following week. You get the picture.  Also, I am now starting to work with my publisher to set up a website and a promotion plan for my book. Lots of reading there in the next 2 weeks. Good thing I like to read.

Have a fabulous summer everyone.
Blessings,
Chris
 

Cobwebs and Quilting

My daughter came by for a couple of days last week with the boys. They are so amazing and so cute. Both slept through the same night so she finally got some good sleep. Yay for sleep for mother's of babies. The reason she made the long drive here was to help her mom, me, do some serious dusting and seek and remove cobwebs galore. She commented how bright the rooms looked after she was done. I figure, if I can't see them, they do not exist. Well they did exist but not anymore.

And why was it so important to get rid of them in mid February? Isn't that what  most people do in the spring? I am not like most people. We are having a Book Signing open house here at the Farm next Sat Feb 18 to promote and sell signed copies of Denine: One mother's journey with a profoundly handicapped child.  I have three cases of soft cover books in the corner in the living room and several pens ready to write my name and a few encouraging words in them.

I bought some bubble envelopes yesterday and mailed off a few today to the US and BC. I could not believe how much it cost per book!!! I guess when amazon prices shipping and handling at $6.49, it is a bargain.

I finished the quilting on the Brown Crazy Patch so another 17 ufos for 2017 is moved forward. Now to find some suitable fabric for binding.

The weather forecast for the next couple of weeks shows lots of sunshine and plus numbers. The sap will be running. I wonder if the grand kiddies are ready to learn about making maple syrup? None of them especially like it. And I vowed never to re-paper the kitchen again after last time. Can't recall how long ago that was. More than twenty years at least. But I digress.

The plumbers were in this morning clearing the clogged bathroom sink. I will have to sell at least a hundred books to pay them. They had to remove and replace some of the 1950s drain pipes, so I got them to put new taps on the laundry tub. They did that for free.

If taking 20 years to make and complete the Brown Crazy patch is not slow stitching, then I do not know what is. Linking up with 

Sunday Slow Stitchin, 
17 ufos for 2017 
 needle and thread network.
confessions of a fabric addict 
needle-and-thread-thursday. 
let's bee social 
quilting readers garden. 

Blessings,
Chris

Denine: One mother's journey with a profoundly handicapped child

The first books have arrived.

I really am an author.

Me and My Book

Books can be purchased at:

amazon.ca

friesenpress.com

or signed copies from me. 

There will be a website in the near future.

I am So Blessed, 

Chris

Mid January Update

Has it really been 2 weeks since I last posted? Unfathomable! Life never gets dull when you are a grandmother. The little darlings have all been so generous and sharing sickness with each other and now, finally, Gramma has it.  No voice to sing with them but still can give lots of snuggles. I have made the 3 hour drive to my daughters 3 times now to help with the baby who is not quite sleeping through the night. Almost. But the rest have been sick everyone needs a bit of sleep.

It is mid January already. Where has the time gone? Oh yes. Snuggling little boys and babysitting little girls. Stitching away on Simple Simon. All 36 blocks are done and now to stay home long enough to sew them all together. And I had planned on being home for 4 weeks in a row. Not much appliqueing going on. I did complete the leaves and buds on one block and was pressing some green fabric to back baste the wreath around the leaves, and didn't I press the block and obliterate the frixion pen marking! I put everything in the project box and cleared away all the clutter in my quilt room for my Q@F friends to come over Saturday to quilt all day. I pulled some dill pickle soup out of the fridge for lunch. That messed up my whole30 clean eating program since it contained sour cream and butter (dairy) and flour. Not sure if I will start counting from Day 1 again or just carry on. I did notice that after 11 days of clean eating, I can close my right hand into a fist without pain. Nice! The left can close more than it used to, but not quite tight. Back to the program and no more cheating. 

Got home the other night to find an email from my publisher to tell me that I am a published author. Yay me! We are planning a book release event for mid  February after the first shipment of books arrives. I will have more information when I know what we are going to do. In the meantime, you can check it out at http://www.friesenpress.com/bookstore/title/119734000015785209.

I decided to join the Rainbow scrap challenge 2017 and work on my Bright Jane blocks in the designated monthly colours. January is purple.   

Blessings,
Chris

Quick Update

Its been five weeks since I last posted. Hard to imagine so much time has passed. Here is what has been going on:

• I did not complete GORF after all. It is still in the machine awaiting more bobbin thread and a half a day to finish it. Have to get it done before we see the bride and groom next week.
• My nice digital camera jammed earlier in the week and I cannot blame any of the grandkids since I was using it taking a picture of the boys at the airport. The lens will not close and this is the same issue with the one I bought in England last winter. Must find a camera shop that does repairs. I cannot take more pictures of quilt progress.
• There has been very little quilt progress. I took eleven 1857 blocks with me to the East Coast and worked on several.
• I was In New Brunswick for two weeks. First at a nice cottage on the ocean where the mosquitoes eat small children for breakfast and the waves on the water never stop. Then a week at another cottage on the lake where the water is so still it reflects the trees and clouds.
• Visited Prince Edward island for a day trip and got to tour Green Gables, the home of Canadian author Lucy Maud Montgomery, the author of all the Anne of Green Gables books. I took pictures of all the quilts inside. They are in my camera.
• Looked after  little boys while Mom and Dad packed up their house in NB and moved to Ontario. Jonathan transitioned into a big boy bed and David started to crawl or rather crab walk. I have pictures but they are in the camera.
• We passed little David back and forth across the aisle on the flight to  Toronto and the flight attendant finally told us to stop that since we were soon to land. Jonathan had unbuckled his seat belt and Mom had to use two hands to get him in his seat and buckle him up and David did not want Gramma holding him this time. If you recall, he slept the entire two hour flight back in July.
• I took three textbooks with me and read them all. I spent three days reading the third one and hand wrote an eight page report only to realize I had the wrong book. Sigh.
• Took Jonathan on special adventures for three days while Mom and Dad moved into the new house and tried to set up all their stuff. The new house is almost twice the size of the parsonage they were in. It has a two car garage. Interesting that everyone on the street parks their mini vans in the drive way since the garage doors are not wide enough to park inside. Yesterday our adventures included visiting the local quilt shop, the Apple Seed in Lindsay; a walk in the park where we saw ducks and fish; ate ice cream; forty five minutes in Canadian Tire waiting for the young customer service guy to assemble the shiny red tricycle; the drug store to pick up a new soother and a quick visit to my college roommate's home to pick up an apple pie to take home to my Sweet Husband. Of course he asked for another chocolate chip cookie with all his manners turned on. My grandson not my husband. He was at home farming.
• I did the two hour drive from Lindsay to the Toronto airport late last night to pick up a friend at midnight, then the hour drive home and missed my own exit off the expressway. Sigh. Then next exit is 15 km further. Then could not get to sleep.
• Got the itinerary for my ministry trip to India in just three weeks. We will be doing a Vacation Bible School for one of the children's homes and then a two day conference with the former prostitutes. This is exciting since we met with many of these women on my last trip, so we can see how they are progressing. Then we will be attending a pastor's conference where the women will be sitting beside their husbands for the first time ever in a culture that has no value or status for their women.
• I will be hosting a Quilting at the Farm day Oct 1 to encourage the girls as they work on some of their projects.
• My book has been stuck in the second revision round now for more than two months and tomorrow I will proof it one more time and correct a couple of errors I found. How does one write the number 25? twentyfive, twenty five or twenty-five? I found all of these. Numbers less than 100 are written out in words. Higher numbers use numerals. I am getting so educated.

Blessings,
Chris

OMG May

Here is something that has my attention. Barbara Brackman's newest BOW  hexathon.
Now I cannot promise that I will actually do any of the hexies but I can follow along and enjoy the read each week. I have been wanting to do some hexagons for the past year or so and have collected some papers for the EPP technique. I even did a class when I was in Australia last year, just for the fun of it.

I sometimes I feel like a one armed paper hanger juggling all the things I have to do right now and quilting is high on that list, but I often get stuck and accomplish very little. However, I did finally submit my edited, revised and corrected manuscript to the publishers, and the back page info and the forward and the photos were found, scanned and submitted this morning. I feel so free and ready to start complete yet another project.

My One Monthly quilting Goal for May will be one simple 1857 block since I cannot blog about the other things I am working on.

1857 Block # 17 back basted ready to go

1857 Block # 17 ready to needle turn the edges of that stem.

Another goal for this month will be to complete one of the 3 courses I have been neglecting for  my doctorate. I figure 3 days of concentration and I should have the Intro to Psychology and Counseling done. The hard work is done, now to write a book report and a 3 page paper either agreeing with or disagreeing with an article that I both agree with and disagree with so it should be interesting to see what I finally come up with.

And because it is springtime and the grass is growing, I bought a new lawnmower today. Yesterday we took all 22 geranium plants outside to catch the rain. I fertilized them and will get them into their summer places. I have been overwintering some of them for 4-5 years and others for 8-10 and two for 20. What can I say? I love plants.

Blessings,
Chris

God is Amazing

Some progress on Beyond the Cherry Trees block # 15. I worked so hard to get everything lined up on all sides and did a pretty good job. But what happened on the far right? Maybe there will be a leaf or a flower to cover it up. I am still wondering of this is too bold a print to add to the rest that I have. I will wait and see. 

BTCT # 15

 This block is finally complete. I realize now that there are a lot more circles in this quilt than just the cherries and grapes. 

BTCT # 24

I had the coolest experience at our local fall fair the other day. It was our Canadian National Guernsey show and we had a lot of work to do to get 17 cows and heifers ready and shown. I just watch most of the time now and run errands. We won the Junior Champion and the Grand Champion and Reserve Grand Champion. This is always nice. But this is not the cool thing that happened.

I had a conversation with 2 women who were escorting 10 year old Angelina around the fair. Angelina is handicapped and was being wheeled around in a specially made stroller. At 10 years of age, she was tiny and showed many of the same characteristics of children born with Cornelia deLange Syndrome. This is the same condition that our daughter Denine was born with. This is the first time in the 42 years since we learned of this that I met up with another who has it. So, I came home and finally did the research. I had submitted my revised manuscript the week before. My editor has asked for more medical details for the book
Denine: One mother's journey with a profoundly handicapped child. 
I was curious to see what was in a particular old box sitting on top of a dresser in a storage room upstairs and found the original medical records. Some of them were letters sent to us and others were details I copied out of the files from our family doctor after I first wrote our story in 1986.

God is amazing.
Blessings,
Chris

Life After CCCQ

 And here she is!!! Well, almost. I still want to attach a narrow border around the outside from the same fabric as the background before quilting. Somehow I ended up with more red blocks than green blocks.

Completed CCCQ Top

 I have this 72 inch by 18 inch ironing board thingy that I lay on top of my table. It makes it easier to lay out a quilt top to press. I so carefully pinned all the seams to go alternating directions and only missed one. Oh well.

The last CCCQ block was not yet cool after pressing, when my hands were itching to do some more applique. Well, maybe I was avoiding doing something that I should have been doing like completing the re-write on my book before submitting it back to the editor tomorrow.

This is block #1 of Di Ford's Antique Wedding Sample. I joined the block of the month group with homestead hearth last winter. Because I live outside the USA, I get 2 months of blocks (4 instead of 2) mailed out every other month. Not the best plan for continuity. I started the first block before I left for my trip to Australia back in April. My goodness! That was nearly 5 months ago.

 I have had very little experience with hand piecing. In the past, my hands did not like it, but this time it was okay. The patterns and directions given for these blocks are in Di Ford's book Primarily Patchwork. It is not for the faint of heart or a total newbie because there is so much here that I have to figure out for myself. 
 Like, where is the pattern for the center circle? There is none. I reversed appliqued the center and did not get it very round.

It looks less bad on point, which is how all the blocks will be when set together. I will have to remember this when I fussy cut some of the center motifs. There will be a center broderie perse applique there when I eventually decide which chintz fabric I will use. They sent 2 different ones neither of which matches so far.

Those brown star points stick out past the circle.

After I cut out all the pieces and had them half stitched together, I wondered if I could have cut that circle out as one whole piece, but was not going to start over. I got 2 out of 3 points stitched down pointy. Now to get the others done pointy.

 Appliqueing that down was tricky. I had to turn under the seam without catching the seam from the brown star point. I took this next picture with the light shining through it. Perhaps next time I should pay closer attention the pressing the seams to get them out of the way on both sides.

There is still lots more to do on this block. In the meantime, a couple of months ago, I had cut out the first motif for block # 5 because they were big and easy. One of those leaf tips is right on the selvage. Oops.

 Problem here is, there were 2 different pictures of this block in the book. One had the leaves all going in the same direction and the other had 2 reversed. Looks like I cut 2 reversed. They will be on point when set into the quilt.

 My oldest granddaughter Ava, who is nearly 8, was visiting and her daddy insisted that Gramma help her make some needle craft thing for the local fall fair coming in 2 weeks.

 So, we started to make a pillow case. Gramma cut, she pinned and sewed and we both pressed. Well, she pressed and I had my hand over hers on the iron since it was her first time and that thing is hot. She knows now. She touched it by accident. Ouch!

Blessings,
Gramma Chris

199th Blog Post and a Give Away Coming.

Today is my birthday and the count down has begun. Only 731 days until I get my first pension cheque. I can hardly wait. But I guess I will have to be patient because a lot can happen in 24 months.

I have not done any quilting on any of my own projects for 5 weeks now. Ya. I can hardly believe that. I have quilted up 2 for my daughter and am helping a friend make one as a wedding present for her daughter. I will be doing the machine quilting as soon as we complete all the machine applique and assemble the top.

In the meantime, I keep dreaming. I saw this antique President's Wreath at Mary's Shop in Bedford Pennsylvania last year and I think I would like to make my own. It can't be that hard to draft the pattern from a photo. And, I believe there are 9 of these identical wreaths on it. One of these days.

Antique President's Wreath

This is my 199th blog post. I had uploaded the photo a year ago and forgot to write the post, but I am dreaming. I thought I would do a give away with the next post. I haven't decided yet exactly what I will give away. I have hundreds of books and patterns. I could choose a couple of those. I have more than lots of fabric and fabric bundles. Not too eager to part with them, yet.

The little girl grandchildren and their parents are away on vacation for 2 weeks and the house is very, very quiet. I got half a chapter written for my book and went to the market yesterday with my Sweetie. We brought home lots of veggies, fruit and butter tarts. Saw only one field of wheat being combined. We do not grow wheat but do buy lots of wheat straw from a neighbour. I have been teaching a woman's weekly Bible study group so I need to spend time preparing for that. And the house looks pretty good since I have a new cleaning lady that has been coming in every week to clean before the Bible study group meets here at the Farm.

I have registered and booked a room at the Blue Gate Garden Inn in Shipshewana Indiana for the Just Takes 2 Retreat November 11-15 with Brenda Papadakis and Gay Bomers. I am so looking forward to that. I am already  mentally packing and planning which of my Just Takes 2 projects I will take to work on, since I have not completed any of them yet.

But first, I have a huge box of mail and invoices that need attention. They don't open and file themselves. Somehow I forgot to pay the property taxes last month and its time to register more new baby calves.

Blessings,
Chris

A Bit of Long Arm Quilting and Strawberry Picking

I cannot believe that it has been a whole 24 days since I did any applique! Yesterday I pulled out a CCCQ block and managed 2 stitches before being distracted.  Last week I rented time on a longarm for 2 days and quilted up 2 quilts my daughter made last winter. And the owner guy at the shop asked if I was willing to sell this one. So, we succeeded in making a "guy" quilt. It is the same brights I am using in my DJ2 and black Kona cotton. Using a computer generated pantogram, I did an all over geometric design in bright variegated King Tut thread. It turns out that one of the turquoise prints has the same design on it. The machine is a robot so I just baby sat it. It took 3 1/2 hours from pinning it on to completion. I had lots of time to think about whether or not I was willing to invest in such a creature. I think not. I have too many other things to do right now. That and it is really hard on the back to do all the pinning.

Most of our family house guests have returned home and these 2 little girls have been here at the Farm for the past 2 weekends. We took them strawberry picking for the first time and had a blast. They picked more than they ate and they did not pick too many green ones. Tomorrow they are coming for another sleepover and there are raspberries to be picked. They are the perfect height for that.

I finally had time to read over the 11 page evaluation of my manuscript and they have asked for 2 more chapters. So that will be my task over the next 2 weeks.

Summer Blessings,
Chris

Stitching With My Hands Brings Healing

I love spending time at my sewing machine. But so often, as I spend time at my sewing machine, I have to engage my thinking ability as I figure out a pattern. It can be intense as my eye has to watch the needle while machine quilting or matching corners. And sometimes just sewing a straight line can be a challenge. I am presently working on a doctorate and have to read and write. I am editing the manuscript for the story of my journey with a handicapped child. And I spend time blogging and connecting with people on facebook. As a result, I spend hours on my computer with my brain engaged.

In the past year and a half, I have discovered that hand applique brings healing to my spirit and rest to my often over worked mind. I am almost finished the chester criswell quilt that I started Sept 2013. There will be a total of 33 blocks. There are still 3 blocks to be released. Completing this quilt is on my 2015 goals.

CCCQ

I used to do applique using freezer paper on the back of the fabric shapes and gluing the seam allowance under. The glue dried hard and I had to use a thimble to push the needle through. This was stressful on my arthritic fingers. Now, with needle turned hand applique, the needle just glides through the cotton and begs to keep on stitching for hours.

I started the beyond-the-cherry-trees-album-quilt in June 2014 and have 6 blocks completed and 10 on the go. I prep similar elements on several blocks at a time so I have something to pick up when I want to sit back and mull over things I am working on, or to just relax as I listen to some worship music before going to bed. I like to have a gramma's bag ready to take babysitting my little girl grandchildren.

BTCT

I found a very interesting post on facebook this morning extolling the meditative benefits of such repetitive and "monotonous" activities of hand crafts such as quilting, knitting, and even colouring at christianity today.

 "As my mind and hands work together, following a pattern or improvising, I find my spirit soothed, my anxious thoughts subsided, my mind free to think and even to pray." 

This is so true. It is worth taking a few minutes to read. As a student of psychology and Christian counseling, I have often stated that quilting, especially the handwork, is a healing activity. This is one of the reasons that I open my quilt room to others and invite them in to experience a morning of refreshment here, where we Quilt at the Farm. 

Hand Work Blessings,
Chris

Sarah Morrell Album Quilt

Someone asked me about the Morrell Quilt and then I just threw it out there on facebook and got some interesting discussion going. I purchased the pattern a year ago from Threadbear.
I have collected some fabrics and a background and am resisting the urge to impulsively jump in and start the thing.  Every once in a while I pull out the box and sort through the fabrics and I have read over the pattern a couple of times to get an overview.

So, I have written it in (in ink) in my January 2016 daytimer to begin. The CCCQ will soon be complete after the final 3 blocks are released. The 1718 Coverlet is an 11 month QAL which will take me to December 2015. And Ben Biggs will offer the last of 25 blocks in January 2016. Sounds perfectly logical to me. There is no time line for the BTCT so I can enjoy it whenever I want. I have 3 wedding quilts to machine quilt and one of them is only half made so far. I committed to a publishing contract and will  submit  my Denine manuscript this month. The sun is shining today and there is mud in my yard. Lovely, gooey, stinky mud. Oh, I almost forgot, the Antique Wedding Sampler BOM from Homestead Hearth just began. I got the first block and the background in the mail and it will go until April 2016. 

Yes. I can do anything on a day like today.

Logical Blessings,

Chris

I Am A Writer

I watched a movie on netflix the other day called Shadows in the Sun. Now we do not have netfix at home and probably will not ever subscribe to it, but my daughter has it here in New Brunswick so I watched a few things. I can watch the same movie, if it is a good one in my opinion, over and over and not get tired of it. Like Pride and Prejudice or Little Women or The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel or any of the Shrek movies . . . but not get too obsessive like my granddaughter putting 22 minutes of How the Grinch Stole Christmas on a loop for 4- 5 hours in the quilt room.

Shadows in the Sun is a story about a young city editor who is sent to the remote Tuscany countryside to convince his literary idol, a famous writer who hasn't written anything in years, to sign with their big publishing company. The logic is that his name alone would make a best seller and of course, lots of money for the publishers. As the story unfolds, we learn that the writer is not able to write because of fear resulting from unresolved grief. Now my psychology and counseling self is being drawn into the story. . . that and the lovely farm country and they steal back a cow. There was some great advice given to budding writers and I am going back to watch it again before packing my bags because I have a plane to catch. I am going home tonight . . . just long enough to get a massage and repack to catch another plane. This time  my Sweet Husband will be flying with me for 5 days to a cattle convention.

I have been researching self publishing and looking for one that would publish a couple of books I have been writing including my story about Denine my profoundly handicapped daughter.  So, I have been in dialogue with 2 different publishers in recent months and they both have been calling and are awaiting my return to talk to me. The one sent me an 11 page contract and the other a 5 page contract. I was advised to not sign anything until talking to my lawyer first. Well that may take a few days. Most of the self publishers I have checked out offer 3 similar packages. In essence, I pay them to publish my book and so they have my money and I have the agreed upon number of books printed with the option to sell more on line or in stores depending on how much money I give them . Do I want my book to be made into a movie? Do I want it featured in O Magazine? Decisions, decisions. It is almost as stressful as deciding what fabrics to buy to make a new quilt, after I design said new quilt which I am not very experienced at.  

I am a writer. It sounds good to say it. I am a writer. I write lists. I write research papers and book reports. I write in my journals. I write in my blog. I have mounds of scrap paper laying around with writings on them. My mind is often alive with words that long to be recorded. It's a left brain thing. I am a writer. If I tell myself enough times, I may start to believe it. And I will watch the movie again with pen in hand to write the advice given because, well . . . I . . . am . . . a writer.

Blessings,
Chris

Denine: High Fever

(This is another except from the story I wrote about my profoundly handicapped daughter Denine who was born in 1973 and died in 1979. Writing her story brought closure and incredible healing to my heart. I have been encouraged to publish it and am presently editing it.)

            In January 1975 I was pregnant with my second child. My husband Ken got a dreadful case of tonsillitis and was home sick for a couple of days.  As he waited in the doctor's office, I carried Denine in a bitterly cold wind to a nearby store to buy a chocolate bar. I never thought how cold it was for her.

            The next day she started to run a fever.  As she got hotter, I bundled her up cozy and warm in a baby quilt and cuddled her.  I made a doctor's appointment for the afternoon.  One thing about our family doctor was that we always had confidence in him that they would see us today when we were sick not next week when they could work us in.  As the hour approached I took Denine's temperature and it was 105.5 F. I called his office and asked if he would come to the house to see her. He would not. He said to bundle her up lightly and bring her in right away. I was scared.

            She had picked up the flu and was very sick. She was admitted to the hospital in Brantford right away. We went through the usual routine of charts and forms. This time she had her love seat and soother. I took her a carton of yogurt and wheat germ which she liked to eat.  They lost her soother.  That same day I picked up some baby pictures I'd had taken a couple of weeks earlier. She had progressed in her therapy to the point of being able to sit alone if we positioned her just so and gave her something to get her attention.  When distracted, she fell over. She could sit for 3‑4 minutes.

Denine age 18 months

            I went home from the hospital several hours later to my sick husband and told him all that had happened.  He said, "Maybe she'll even die." 
           "No! She can't die! She's my baby! How dare he say such a thing! Doesn't he care about her at all?"
            He was being realistic.

            At bedtime, I went into her empty room. I looked at her crib and her toys and clothes.  "No she can’t die!  God, please don’t take her from me. I couldn't bear to lose her." I did not release the pent up tears. Two days later, she came home, perfectly healthy but a bit weaker. 
           

Blessings,
Chris

Denine: Why is She so Stiff

            The doctor explained that according to the development graphs, her head should be a certain size at a certain age.  And if it was not, there was a problem.  Perhaps her brain was not growing as quickly as it ought.  Up until this time, eight months, she had been gaining weight progressively. We discussed the possibility of admitting her to a Toronto hospital for extensive testing.  Since we lived a long hours drive away, we asked if she could he admitted that same day.  He would see what he could do.

            We found our way to the hospital and went through the usual channels of admittance.  Why do they always take so long?  They gave her a hospital gown and  sent us to a waiting area.    Six hours  later,  we  were  informed  they had a bed ready.  So we were escorted to the allocated room and then began the second phase of admittance.

            What specific problems have you noticed?  What does she eat?   Does she sleep on her stomach or back?  What does she not like?  When did she laugh first?   etc. etc. etc.

            She was finally settled in for what we thought would be 3 days of extensive testing.  We were wrong.  She got pneumonia while she was there.  She also cut her first four teeth in hospital.

            Towards the end of the three weeks, the doctor was going to do an operation.  They felt it was necessary to insert a shunt from the brain to the stomach.  I understood that this would be a small tube to drain cystic fluid that was putting pressure on her brain.  The date and time were set.  We waited at home and waited and waited.

            The doctor was supposed to call after the operation.  He did not.  After waiting all afternoon by the phone, I called him at the hospital.  After a long wait on a. long distance line, he finally came on and said "Oh, we didn't do the operation this morning.  We shaved the top of her head and drained off some fluid and filled it with air and discovered there was no pressure being put on the brain so we did not do the operation.  You can pick her up tomorrow."  And he gave us a time to meet him at the hospital.

            Were we so unimportant that he could not call us to tell us?  Or was he just too busy?

            We arrived, at the hospital at the appointed hour and had to wait for him. After awhile we were ushered into a small classroom with a blackboard..  The doctor preceded to quietly and simply explain the type of brain damage Denine had.  How severe it was.  And what he would recommend that we do.

            It appeared that very early in my pregnancy, about 8 weeks, that the fetus suffered a stroke of some sort, blocking blood vessels to the brain.  As the organs were in the formation stage at the time, there was a reduced blood supply to the brain that was just beginning to form.  He then drew a diagram of the brain on the board and started to cut out pieces here and there to show which parts had not formed.  By the time he was finished, nearly half the brain had been removed.  The vacant parts were filled with fluid.  They thought there was pressure but there was not.

            This was  such a very rare thing that there was no documented record of it having  happened  before.  Her condition was so severe there was no hope of getting better. His recommendations were rather drastic.  He said, "If I could have my way, I'd take this  child away and never let you take her home."  I  think he wanted to spare us what he knew was ahead.  He was wrong.

           We gathered Denine and her things and prepared to leave the hospital.  We had to pick up a prescription at the pharmacy downstairs.  Fortunately we had enough money on us.  It was not cheap.